Object Oriented Programming With C 2140705 Darshan All Unit Darshan Institute Of Engineering Technology

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1 – Concepts of OOP 1 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ 1) What is Object Oriented Programming? Differentiate procedure oriented and object oriented programming language. OR List out characteristics of POP and OOP. Object Oriented Programming is programming paradigm that represents concepts as objects that has data fields and associated procedures known as methods. Procedure Oriented Programming (POP) Object Oriented Programming (OOP) 1. Emphasis is on doing things not on data, means it is function driven 1. Emphasis is on data rather than procedure, means object driven 2. Main focus is on the function and procedures that operate on data 2. Main focus is on the data that is being operated 3. Top Down approach in program design 3. Bottom Up approach in program design 4. Large programs are divided into smaller programs known as functions 4. Large programs are divided into classes and objects 5. Most of the functions share global data 5. Data is tied together with function in the data structure 6. Data moves openly in the system from one function to another function 6. Data is hidden and cannot be accessed by external functions 7. Adding of data and function is difficult 7. Adding of data and function is easy 8. We cannot declare namespace directly 8. We can use name space directly, Ex: using namespace std; 9. Concepts like inheritance, polymorphism, data encapsulation, abstraction, access specifiers are not available. 9. Concepts like inheritance, polymorphism, data encapsulation, abstraction, access specifiers are available and can be used easily 10. Examples: C, Fortran, Pascal, etc… 10. Examples: C++, Java, C#, etc… 2) Explain Basic Concepts of OOP. OR Explain Following terms. Various concepts present in OOP to make it more powerful, secure, reliable and easy. Object  An object is an instance of a class.  An object means anything from real world like as person, computer, bench etc...  Every object has at least one unique identity.  An object is a component of a program that knows how to interact with other pieces of the program.  An object is the variable of the type class.  For example, If water is class then river is object. Class  A class is a template that specifies the attributes and behavior of things or objects.  A class is a blueprint or prototype from which objects are created.  A class is the implementation of an abstract data type (ADT).  It defines attributes and methods.

1 – Concepts of OOP 2 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ Example: class employee // Class { char name[10]; // Data member int id; // Data member public: void getdata() // Member function { cout<<”enter name and id of employee: ”; cin>>name>>id; } }a; // Object Declaration  In above example class employee is created and ‘a’ is object of this class.  Object declaration can be also done in main() function as follows: int main() { employee a; } Data Abstraction  Just represent essential features without including the background details.  They encapsulate all the essential properties of the objects that are to be created.  The attributes are sometimes called ‘Data members’ because they hold information.  The functions that operate on these data are sometimes called ‘methods’ or ‘member functions’.  It is used to implement in class to provide data security. Encapsulation  Wrapping up of a data and functions into single unit is known as encapsulation.  In C++ the data is not accessible to the outside world.  Only those functions can access it which is wrapped together within single unit. Inheritance  Inheritance is the process, by which class can acquire the properties and methods of another class.  The mechanism of deriving a new class from an old class is called inheritance.  The new class is called derived class and old class is called base class.  The derived class may have all the features of the base class.  Programmer can add new features to the derived class.  For example, Student is a base class and Result is derived class. Polymorphism  A Greek word Polymorphism means the ability to take more than one form.  Polymorphism allows a single name to be used for more than one related purpose.  The concept of polymorphism is characterized by the idea of ‘one interface, multiple methods’,  That means using a generic interface for a group of related activities.  The advantage of polymorphism is that it helps to reduce complexity by allowing one interface to specify a general class of action’. It is the compiler’s job to select the specific action as it applies to each situation.  It means ability of operators and functions to act differently in different situations.

1 – Concepts of OOP 3 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ Example: int total(int, int); int total(int, int, float); Static Binding  Static Binding defines the properties of the variables at compile time. Therefore they can’t be changed. Dynamic Binding  Dynamic Binding means linking of procedure call to the code to be executed in response to the call.  It is also known as late binding, because It will not bind the code until the time of call at run time. In other words properties of the variables are determined at runtimes.  It is associated with polymorphism and inheritance. Message Passing  A program contains set of object that communicates with each other.  Basic steps to communicate 1. Creating classes that define objects and their behavior. 2. Creating objects from class definition 3. Establishing communication among objects.  Message passing involves the object name, function name and the information to be sent. Example: employee.salary(name); In above statement employee is an object. salary is message, and name isinformation to be sent. 3) List out benefits of OOP.  We can eliminate redundant code though inheritance.  Saving development time and cost by using existing module.  Build secure program by data hiding.  It is easy to partition the work in a project based on object.  Data centered design approach captures more details of a programming model.  It can be easily upgraded from small to large system.  It is easy to map objects in the problem domain to those in the program.  Through message passing interface between objects makes simpler description with external system.  Software complexity can be easily managed. 4) List out Applications of OOP. Applications of OOP technology has gained importance in almost all areas of computing including real-time business systems. Some of the examples are as follows: 1. Real-time systems 2. Simulation and modeling 3. Object oriented database 4. Artificial intelligence and expert systems 5. Neural networks and parallel programming 6. Decision support and office automation 7. CIM/CAM/CAD systems. 8. Distributed/Parallel/Heterogeneous computing 9. Data warehouse and Data mining/Web mining

2 – C++ Basics 4 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ 1) What is C++? Explain Structure of C++ Program.  C++ is an object oriented programming language.  It is a superset of C language and also called as extended version of C language.  It was developed by Bjarne Stroustrup at AT&T Bell lab in New Jersey, USA in the early 1980’s.  Structure of C++ program is as follow. Include Files Class Declaration or Definition Member functions definitions Main function  In any program first write header files like as iostream.h, conio.h, etc..as per requirement of program.  After header file write class declaration or definition as per your planning.  After class, define all member functions which are not define but declare inside the class.  In last write main function without main function program execution is not possible. Example: #include <iostream> //Header File using namespace std; class trial //Class { int a; public: void getdata() { a=10; } void putdata(); }; void trial::putdata() //Member Function outside class definition { cout<<"The value of a = "<<a; } int main() //Main Function { trial T; T.getdata(); T.putdata(); } Output: The value of a = 10 2) Explain following terms. Namespace:  It defines a scope for the identifiers that are used in a program.  For using identifiers defined in namespace using directive is used as follows: using namespace std;  std is the namespace where ANSI C++ standard class libraries are defined.  All ANSI C++ programs must include this directive.  This will bring all the identifiers defined in std to the current global scope.

2 – C++ Basics 5 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ Keywords:  They are explicitly reserved identifiers and cannot be used as names for the program variables or other user-defined program elements. Ex: int, class, void etc. Identifiers:  They refer to the names of variables, functions, arrays, classes etc., created by the programmer.  Each language has its own rules for naming these identifiers.  Following are common rules for both C and C++: o Only alphabetic characters, digits and underscores are permitted. o The name cannot start with a digit. o Uppercase and lowercase letters are distinct. o A declared keyword cannot be used as a variable name. Constants:  Like variables, constants are data storage locations. But variables can vary, constants do not change.  You must initialize a constant when you create it, and you can not assign new value later, after constant is initialized. Defining constant using #define:  #define is a preprocessor directive that declares symbolic constant. Example syntax: #define PI 3.14  Every time the preprocessor sees the word PI, it puts 3.14 in the text. Example: #include<iostream> using namespace std; #define PI 3.14 int main() { int r,area; cout<<”Enter Radius :”; cin>>r; area=PI*r*r; cout<<”Area of Circle = ”<<area; return 0; } Output: Enter Radius :5 Area of Circle = 78.5 Defining constant using const keyword:  ‘const’ keyword is used to declare constant variable of any type.  We cannot change its value during execution of program.  Syntax: const DataType Variable_Name=value; Ex: const int a=2;  Now ‘a’ is a integer type constant.

2 – C++ Basics 6 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ 3) Explain various Data types used in C++.  C++ provides following data types.  We can divide data types into three parts 1. Primary data type 2. Derived data type 3. User defined data type Primary/Inbuilt Data types:  The primary data type of C++ is as follow. Size (bytes) Range char 1 -128 to 127 unsigned char 1 0 to 255 short or int 2 -32,768 to 32,767 unsigned int 2 0 to 65535 long 4 -2147483648 to 2147483647 unsigned long 4 0 to 4294967295 float 4 3.4e-38 to 3.4e+308 double 8 1.7e-308 to 1.7e+308 long double 10 3.4e-4932 to 1.1e+4932 Derived Data types:  Following derived data types. C++ Data Types Primary data type  int  float  char  void Secondary data type Derived data type  Array  Pointer  Function  Reference User defined data type  Class  Structure  Union  enum

2 – C++ Basics 7 Hardik A. Doshi, CE Department | 2140705 – OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING WITH C++ 1. Arrays 2. Function 3. Pointers  We cannot use the derived data type without use of primary data type.  Array: An array is a fixed-size sequenced collection of elements of the same data type.  Pointer: Pointer is a special variable which contains address of another variable.  Function: A Group of statements combined in one block for some special purpose. User Defined Data types:  We have following type of user defined data type in C++ language.  The user defined data type is defined by programmer as per his/her requirement.  Structure: Structure is a collection of logically related data items of different data types grouped together and known by a single name.  Union: Union is like a structure, except that each element shares the common memory.  Class: A class is a template that specifies the fields and methods of things or objects. A class is a prototype from which objects are created.  enum: Enum is a user-defined type consisting of a set of named constants called enumerator.  In other words enum is also used to assign numeric constants to strings  Syntax of enumeration: enum enum_tag {list of variables};  Example of enumeration: enum day-of-week {mon=1,tue,wed,thu,fri,sat,sun}; 4) Describe various operators used in C++. An operator is a symbol that tells the compiler to perform certain mathematical or logical operation. 1. Arithmetic Operators Arithmetic operators are used for mathematical calculation. C++ supports following arithmetic operators + Addition or unary plus - Subtraction or unary minus * Multiplication / Division % Modulo division 2. Relational Operators Relational operators are used to compare two numbers and taking decisions based on their relation. Relational expressions are used in decision statements such as if, for, while, etc… < less than <= less than or equal to > greater than >= greater than or equal to

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The Project Gutenberg eBook of Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. Title: Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing Editor: J. A. Hammerton Illustrator: John Tenniel Release date: July 24, 2012 [eBook #40320] Most recently updated: October 23, 2024 Language: English Credits: Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive) *** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. PUNCH AFLOAT: THE HUMOURS OF BOATING AND SAILING ***

MR. PUNCH AFLOAT TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE. Some pages of this work have been moved from the original sequence to enable the contents to continue without interruption. The page numbering remains unaltered.

PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR Edited by J. A. HAMMERTON Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to "Punch," from its beginning in 1841 to the present day. "MR. PUNCH AFLOAT"

MR PUNCH AFLOAT THE HUMOURS OF BOATING AND SAILING AS PICTURED BY SIR JOHN TENNIEL, GEORGE DU MAURIER, JOHN LEECH, CHARLES KEENE, PHIL MAY, L. RAVEN-HILL, LINLEY SAMBOURNE, G. D. ARMOUR, A. S. BOYD, J. BERNARD PARTRIDGE, AND OTHERS. PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH" THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD. THE PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo. 192 pages fully illustrated LIFE IN LONDON COUNTRY LIFE IN THE HIGHLANDS SCOTTISH HUMOUR IRISH HUMOUR COCKNEY HUMOUR IN SOCIETY

AFTER DINNER STORIES IN BOHEMIA AT THE PLAY MR. PUNCH AT HOME ON THE CONTINONG RAILWAY BOOK AT THE SEASIDE MR. PUNCH AFLOAT IN THE HUNTING FIELD MR. PUNCH ON TOUR WITH ROD AND GUN MR. PUNCH AWHEEL BOOK OF SPORTS GOLF STORIES IN WIG AND GOWN ON THE WARPATH BOOK OF LOVE WITH THE CHILDREN

MR. PUNCH AT THE HELM! (By way of Introduction) River and sea, with their teeming summer life as we know them in Great Britain and around our coasts, have yielded a rich supply of subjects for the pens and pencils of Mr. Punch's merry men. In Stevenson's famous story of "The Merry Men," it is the cruel side of the sea that is symbolised under that ironic description; but there is no touch of gall, no sinister undertone, in the mirth of Mr. Punch's "merry men." It may be protested that in the pages of this little book, where we have brought together for the first time all Mr. Punch's "happy thoughts" about boating and sailing, the miseries of travel by sea and the discomforts of holiday life on our inland waters are too much insisted upon. But it is as much the function of the humorist as it is the business of the philosopher to hold the mirror up to nature, and we are persuaded that it is no distorted mirror in which Mr. Punch shows us to ourselves. After all, although as a nation we are proud to believe that Britannia rules the waves, and to consider ourselves a sea-going people, for the most of us our recollections of Channel passages and trips around our coasts are inevitably associated with memories of mal-de-mer, and it says much for our national good humour that we can turn even our miseries into jest. Afloat or ashore, Mr. Punch is never "at sea," and while his jokes have always their point, that point is never barbed, as these pages illustrative of the humours of boating and sailing—with Mr. Punch at the helm—may be left safely to bear witness.

'ARRY ON THE RIVER Dear Charlie, 'Ot weather at last! Wot a bloomin' old slusher it's bin, This season! But now it do look as though Summer was goin' to begin. Up to now it's bin muck and no error, fit only for fishes and frogs, And has not give a chap arf a chance like of sporting 'is 'oliday togs. Sech a sweet thing in mustard and pink, quite reshershay I tell you, old man. Two quid's pooty stiff, but a buster and blow the expense is my plan; With a stror 'at and puggeree, Charlie, low shoes and new mulberry gloves. If I didn't jest fetch our two gals, it's a pity;—and wasn't they loves? We'd three chaps in the boat besides me,—jest a nice little party of six, But they didn't get arf a look in 'long o' me; they'd no form, them two sticks. If you'd seen me a settin' and steerin' with one o' the shes on each side, You'd a thought me a Turk in check ditters, and looked on your 'Arry with pride. Wy, we see a swell boat with three ladies, sech rippers, in crewel and buff, (If I pulled arf a 'our in their style it 'ud be a bit more than enough) Well, I tipped 'em a wink as we passed and sez, "Go it, my beauties, well done!" And, oh lor! if you'd twigged 'em blush up you'd a seen 'ow they relished the fun. I'm dead filberts, my boy, on the river, it ain't to be beat for a lark. And the gals as goes boating, my pippin, is jest about "'Arry, his mark." If you want a good stare, you can always run into 'em—accident quite! And they carn't charge yer nothink for looking, nor put you in quod for the fright. 'Ow we chivied the couples a-spoonin', and bunnicked old fishermen's swims, And put in a Tommy Dodd Chorus to Methodys practisin' hymns! Then we pic-nic'd at last on the lawn of a waterside willa. Oh, my! When the swells see our bottles and bits, I've a notion some language'll fly.

It was on the Q. T., in a nook snugged away in a lot of old trees, I sat on a bust of Apoller, with one of the gurls on my knees! Cheek, eh? Well, the fam'ly was out, and the servants asleep, I suppose; For they didn't 'ear even our roar, when I chipped orf the himage's nose. We'd soon emptied our three-gallon bottle, and Tommy he pulled a bit wild, And we blundered slap into a skiff, and wos jolly near drownding a child. Of course we bunked off in the scurry, and showed 'em a clean pair o' legs, Pullin' up at a waterside inn where we went in for fried 'am and eggs. We kep that 'ere pub all-alive-oh, I tell yer, with song and with chorus, To the orful disgust of some prigs as wos progging two tables afore us. I do 'ate your hushabye sort-like, as puts on the fie-fie at noise. 'Ow on earth can yer spree without shindy? It's jest wot a feller enjoys. Quaker-meetings be jiggered, I say; if you're 'appy, my boy, give it tongue. I tell yer we roused 'em a few, coming 'ome, with the comics we sung. Hencoring a prime 'un, I somehow forgot to steer straight, and we fouled The last 'eat of a race—such a lark! Oh, good lor', 'ow they chi-iked and 'owled! There was honly one slight country-tong, Tommy Blogg, who's a bit of a hass, Tried to splash a smart pair of swell "spoons" by some willers we 'appened to pass; And the toff ketched the blade of Tom's scull, dragged 'im close, and jest landed 'im one! Arter which Master Tom nussed his eye up, and seemed rayther out of the fun. Sez the toff, "You're the pests of the river, you cads!" Well, I didn't reply, 'Cos yer see before gals, it ain't nice when a feller naps one in the eye; But it's all bloomin' nonsense, my boy! If he'd only jest give me a look, He'd a seen as my form was O.K., as I fancy ain't easy mistook. Besides, I suppose as the river is free to all sorts, 'igh and low. That I'm sweet on true swells you're aweer, but for stuck-ups I don't care a blow. We'd a rare rorty time of it, Charlie, and as for that younger gurl, Carry, I'll eat my old boots if she isn't dead-gone on Yours bloomingly, 'Arry.

MAKING THE BEST OF IT HINTS TO BEGINNERS

In punting, a good strong pole is to be recommended to the beginner. THE RETURN OF THE WANDERER Custom House Officer (to sufferer). "Now, sir, will you kindly pick out your luggage? It's got to be examined before you land."

OUR YACHTING EXPERIENCES Old "Salt" at the helm. "Rattlin' fine breeze, gen'lemen." Chorus of Yachtsmen (faintly). "Y—yes—d'lightful!"

TO PYRRHA ON THE THAMES O Pyrrha! say what youth in "blazer" drest, Woos you on pleasant Thames these summer eves; For whom do you put on that dainty vest, That sky-blue ribbon and those gigot sleeves? "Simplex munditiis," as Horace wrote, And yet, poor lad, he'll find that he is rash; To-morrow you'll adorn some other boat, And smile as kindly on another "mash." As for myself—I'm old, and look askance At flannels and flirtation; not for me Youth's idiotic rapture at a glance From maiden eyes: although it comes from thee. The Excursion Season.—First Passenger (poetical). "Doesn't the sight o' the cerulean expanse of ocean, bearing on its bosom the white-winged fleets of commerce, fill yer with——" Second Ditto. "Fi—— not a bit of it." (Steamer takes a slight lurch!) "Quite the contrary!" [Makes off abruptly!

"LIFE'S LITTLE IRONIES" (Cheerful passage in the life of a Whitsuntide Holiday maker)

MY RIVERSIDE ADWENTUR (A Trew Fact as appened at Great Marlow on Bank Olliday) I was setting one day in the shade, In the butifull month of August, When I saw a most butifull maid A packing of eggs in sum sawdust. The tears filled her butifull eyes, And run down her butifull nose, And I thort it was not werry wise To let them thus spile her nice close. So I said to her, lowly and gently, "Shall I elp you, O fair lovely gal?" And she ansered, "O dear Mr. Bentley, If you thinks as you can, why you shall." And her butifull eyes shone like dimans, As britely each gleamed thro a tear, And her smile it was jest like a dry man's When he's quenching his thirst with sum beer. Why she called me at wunce Mr. Bentley, I sort quite in wain to dishcover; Or weather 'twas dun accidently, Or if she took me for some other. I then set to work most discreetly, And packed all the eggs with great care; And I did it so nicely and neatly, That I saw that my skill made her stare. So wen all my tarsk was quite ended, She held out her two lilly hands, And shook mine, and thank'd me, and wended Her way from the river's brite sands.

And from that day to this tho I've stayed, I've entirely failed to diskever The name of that brite dairy-maid As broke thirteen eggs by the river. Robert. LOCKS ON THE THAMES Sculler. "Just half a turn of the head, love, or we shall be among the rushes!"

THE STEAMER Old Mr. Squeamish, who has been on deck for his wrapper, finds his comfortable place occupied by a hairy mossoo!

OTHERWISE ENGAGED! (A Sentimental Fragment from Henley) And so they sat in the boat and looked into one another's eyes, and found much to read in them. They ignored the presence of the houseboats, and scarcely remembered that there were such things as launches propelled by steam or electricity. And they turned deaf ears to the niggers, and did not want their fortunes told by dirty females of a gipsy type. "This is very pleasant," said Edwin. "Isn't it?" replied Angelina; "and it's such a good place for seeing all the events." "Admirable!" and they talked of other things; and the time sped on, and the dark shadows grew, and still they talked, and talked, and talked. At length the lanterns on the river began to glow, and Henley put on its best appearance, and broke out violently into fireworks. It was then Mrs. Grundy spied them out. She had been on the look out for scandal all day long, but could find none. This seemed a pleasant and promising case. "So you are here!" she exclaimed. "Why, we thought you must have gone long ago! And what do you say of the meeting?" "A most perfect success," said he. "And the company?" "Could not be more charming," was her reply. "And what did you think of the racing?" Then they looked at one another and smiled. They spoke together, and observed:— "Oh, we did not think of the racing!" And Mrs. Grundy was not altogether satisfied.

OVERHEARD ON AN ATLANTIC LINER She (on her first trip to Europe). "I guess you like London?" He. "Why, yes. I guess I know most people in London. I was over there last fall!"

"VIDE UT SUPRA" "The sad sea waves"

LEST MEN FORGET; Or, A Girl's best Friend is the River [This is to be a river season. Father Thames is an excellent matchmaker.— Lady's Pictorial.] Oh, what is a maid to do When never a swain will woo; When Viennese dresses And eddying tresses And eyes of a heavenly blue, Are treated with high disdain By the cold and the careless swain, When soft showered glances At dinners and dances Are sadly but truly vain? Ah, then, must a maid despair? Ah, no, but betimes repair With her magical tresses And summery dresses To upper Thames reaches, where She turns her wan cheek to the sun (Of lesser swains she will none); Her glorious flame, Well skilled in the game, Flings kisses that burn like fun And cheeks that had lost their charm Grow rosy and soft and warm; Eyes lately so dull Of sun-light are full As masculine hearts with alarm. For jealousy by degrees Steals over the swain who sees

The cheek he was slighting Another delighting, And so he is brought to his knees. AT THE UNIVERSITY BOAT-RACE Extract from Miss X's letter to a friend in the country:—"Mr. Robin Blobbs offered to take us in his boat. Aunt accepted for Jenny, Fanny, Ethel, little Mary, and myself. Oh, such a time! Mr. Blobbs lost his head and his scull, and we were just rescued from upset by the police. 'Never again with you, Robin!'"

THE AMATEUR YACHTSMAN (A Nautical Song of the Period) I'm bad when at sea, yet it's pleasant to me To charter a yacht and go sailing, But please understand I ne'er lose sight of land, Though hardier sailors are railing. If only the ship, that's the yacht, wouldn't dip, And heel up and down and roll over, And wobble about till I want to get out, I'd think myself fairly in clover. But, bless you! my craft, though the wind is abaft, Will stagger when meeting the ripple, Until a man feels both his head and his heels Reversed as if full of his tipple. In vain my blue serge when from seas we emerge, Though dressed as a nautical dandy; I can't keep my legs, and I call out for "pegs" Of rum, or of soda and brandy. A yacht is a thing, they say, fit for a king, And still it is not to my liking; My short pedigree does not smack of the sea,—

I can't pose a bit like a viking. It's all very well when there isn't a swell, But when that comes on I must toddle And go down below, for a bit of a blow Upsets my un-nautical noddle. Britannia may rule her own waves,—I'm a fool To try the same game, but, believe me, Though catching it hot, yet to give up my "Yot" Would certainly terribly grieve me. You see, it's the rage, like the Amateur Stage, Or Coaching, Lawn-Tennis, or Hunting: So, though I'm so queer, I go yachting each year, And hoist on the Solent my bunting. A Henley Toast.—"May rivals meet without any sculls being broken!" Of Course!—The very place for a fowl—Henley! The Journal which evidently keeps the Key of the River.—The Lock to Lock Times.

OF MALICE AFORETHOUGHT Cheery Official. "All first class 'ere, please?" Degenerate Son of the Vikings (in a feeble voice). "First class? Now do I look it?" "LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE" Next to the charming society, the best of the delightful trips on our friend's yacht is, that you get such an admirable view of the coast scenery, and you acquire such an excellent appetite for lunch.

ROBERT ON THE RIVER It was ony a week or so ago as I was engaged perfeshnally on board a steam Yot that had been hired for about as jolly a party as I ewer remembers to have had on board a ship, and the Forreners among 'em had ewidently been brort for to see what a reel lovely River the Tems is. I must say I was glad to get away from Town, as I 'ad 'ad a shock from seeing a something dreadful on an old showcard outside of the Upraw which they tells me is now given up to Promenades. So we started from Skindel's, at Madenhed Bridge, and took 'em right up to Gentlemanly Marlow, and on to old Meddenham, and then to Henley, and lots of other butiful places, and then back to Skindel's to dinner. And a jolly nice little dinner they guv us, and sum werry good wine, as our most critical gests—and we had two Corporation gents among 'em—couldn't find not no fault with. But there's sum peeple as it ain't not of no use to try to sattisfy with butiful seenery—at least, not if they bees Amerrycains. They don't seem not to have the werry least hadmiration or respect for anythink as isn't werry big, and prefur size to buty any day of the week. "Well, it's a nice-looking little stream enuff," says an Amerrycain, who was a board a grinnin; "but it's really quite a joke to call it a River. Why, in my country," says he, "if you asked me for to show you a River, I should take you to Mrs. Sippy's, and when we got about harf way across it, I guess you'd see a reel River then, for it's so wide that you carn't see the land on either side of it, so you sees nothink else but the River, and as that's what you wanted for to see, you carn't werry well grumble then." I shood, most suttenly, have liked for to have asked him, what sort of Locks they had in sitch a River as that, and whether Mrs. Sippy cort many wales when she went out for a day's fishing in that little River of hers, but I knows my place, and never asks inconvenient questions. However, he was a smart sort of feller, and had 'em I must say werry nicely indeed a few minutes arterwards. We was a passing a werry butiful bit of the river called a Back Water, and he says, says he, "As it's so preshus hot in the sun, why don't we run in there and enjoy the shade for a time, while we have

our lunch?" "Oh," says one of the marsters of the feast, "we are not allowed to go there; that's privet, that is." "Why how can that be?" says he, "when you told me, just now, as you'd lately got a Hact of Parliament passed which said that wherever Tems Water flowed it was open to all the world, as of course it ort to be." "Ah," said the other, looking rayther foolish, "but this is one of the xceptions, for there's another claws in the hact as says that wherever any body has had a hobstruction in the River for 20 years it belongs to him for hever, but he musn't make another nowheres." The Amerrycain grinned as before, and said, "Well, I allers said as you was about the rummiest lot of people on the face of the airth, and this is on'y another proof of it. You are so werry fond of everythink as is old, that if a man can show as he has had a cussed noosance for twenty years, he may keep it coz he's had it so long, while all sensible peeple must think, as that's one more reeson for sweeping the noosance clean away." And I must say, tho he was a Amerrycane, that I coodn't help thinking as he was right. It's estonishing what a remarkabel fine happy-tight a run on the butiful Tems seems to give heverybody, and wot an adwantage we has in that partickler respect over the poor Amerycans who gos for a trip on Mrs. Sippy's big River, with the wind a bloing like great guns, and the waves a dashing mountings hi. But on our butiful little steamer on our luvly little river, altho the gests had most suttenly all brekfasted afore they cum, why we hadn't started much about half- a-nour, afore three or fore on 'em came creeping down into the tite little cabin and asking for jest a cup of tea and a hegg or two, and a few shrimps; and, in less than a nour arterwards, harf a duzzen more on 'em had jest a glass or two of wine and a sandwich, and all a arsking that most important of all questions on bord a Tems Yot, "What time do we lunch?" And by 2 a clock sharp they was all seated at it, and pegging away at the Sammon and the pidgin pie, het settera, as if they was harf-starved, and ewen arter that, the butiful desert and the fine old Port Wine was left upon the table, and I can troothfully state that the cabin was never wunce quite empty till we was again doing full justice to Mr. Skindel's maynoo. Robert. The Universal Motto at Henley.—Open houseboat.

"EXEMPLI GRATIA" Ancient Mariner (to credulous yachtsman). "A'miral Lord Nelson! Bless yer, I knowed him; served under him. Many's the time I've as'ed him for a bit o' 'bacco, as I might be a astin' o' you; and says he, 'Well, I ain't got no 'bacco,' jest as you might say to me; 'but here's a shillin' for yer,' says he"!!

ABOVE BRIDGE BOAT AGROUND OFF CHISWICK Gallant Member of the L.R.C. "Can I put you ashore, mum?" "IT'S AN ILL WIND," &c. Rescuer. "Hold on a bit! I may never get a chance like this again!"

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