I recently came to realize that every failure is also a new opportunity for learning. I know, maybe that's an obvious cliché, right? And no, I'm not trying to be corny or anything, just hear me out for a second...
If you've read one of my previous posts, you'll know that I'm trying to land a position as a software engineer. Ever since I started worrying about getting into a company, I've gone through a lot of hardship, coming to the realization that this is by no means a chill path to follow.
500 Problems Solved Must Be Enough
I've been studying LeetCode problems for the last six months. I've solved more than 200 questions and revisited them over 500 times—literally.
By the time I applied for a position at Amazon, I was pretty confident in my ability to solve almost any LeetCode problem they threw at me.
All that confidence, just for life to knock me down and humble me all over again.
I Couldn't Even Get Past the Front Door
Yeah, as you might expect based on how this narrative is going, I did not do well.
The first step in the process was an Online Assessment: two problems in 70 minutes.
"No problem for me," I thought. "I've been training for this every day!"
But I wasn't counting on one important variable in this huge equation: anxiety.
Unfortunately, that day, I didn't solve a single question. It was incredibly frustrating. All this time studying specifically for these scenarios, and still, I couldn't do it. "What a waste of time," I thought to myself that day.
Failing is most times THE Learning Process
After letting myself feel all the frustration and anger for a while, I decided to do what I intended on doing when I first applied to Amazon: take notes on how to improve. So, I did.
I came to understand that I get really nervous in these situations; my mind gets foggy, and I freeze up. I realized I needed to learn how to remain functional while nervous, because the nervousness itself wasn't something I could easily control.
It's Still Frustrating, Though
Yeah, even knowing all this, not getting through technical interviews is still frustrating. But now I understand that I didn't fail and went back to square one. Instead, I failed and went back to the closest checkpoint.
And I know that by getting through it checkpoint by checkpoint, I'll eventually get where I want to be—even if it takes more than a few retries.
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