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Please Do Not Call ICE Thugs 'Gestapo' For Holding 5-Year-Old Hostage As Bait To Nab Her Father
And do not say ICE held her 'hostage' or used her as 'bait.' You monsters.
3 hrs ago
•
Doktor Zoom
152
650
Sorry, FEMA Can't Come To The Phone Right Now. Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 25, 2025
Please hang up and try again. Morning news roundup and things to read!
5 hrs ago
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
147
561
Transphobes Thought This Evidence-Based Medicine Guy Was Their Pal. As Usual, They Were Wrong.
Gordon Guyatt does not want his research used to justify denying anyone gender-affirming care.
20 hrs ago
•
Robyn Pennacchia
225
3,035
Jimmy Kimmel’s Back, And He’s Not Gonna Be Sorry
Guess boycotts work!
22 hrs ago
•
Marcie Jones
212
694
Trump Says Nice Ukraine Things, But Can He Be Trusted? (No, He Can Never Be Trusted)
As always, watch what he actually does.
23 hrs ago
•
Doktor Zoom
132
329
Hey, We're Still Having Elections? SWEET!
Nice Time!
Sep 24
•
Marcie Jones
182
445
Elon Musk's Dad Errol (Allegedly!) Worse Than You Thought
Spoiler, he's been accused of molesting five of his nine kids/stepkids.
Sep 24
•
Marcie Jones
215
341
He's So F*cking Stupid. Tabs, Wed., Sept. 24, 2025
Morning news roundup and things to read!
Sep 24
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
216
615
Donald Trump Lies To UN General Assembly, Nobody Believes Him
Hey, you wanna hear some bullshit?
Sep 23
•
Doktor Zoom
342
3,235
Where The Hell Do We Even Begin With Trump's Autism Nonsense?
If you just keep saying 'gold standard science,' maybe people will believe you're producing it?
Sep 23
•
Robyn Pennacchia
260
801
Featured
View all
An Open Letter To The Majority Of Congressional Democrats
The norms are gone. Wake the hell up!
Feb 3
•
Ali Davis
876
573
Trump DEMANDS Insolent Bishop Lady Apologize For Being So Christlike
Little too much Jesus for the MAGA crowd!
Jan 22
•
Evan Hurst
646
772
Joe Biden's FTC Chair Lina Khan Showed What 'F*ck The Broligarchy' Looks Like
Lina Khan Lina Khan lemme rock you Lina Khan!
Jan 17
•
Doktor Zoom
305
316
Oh The BALLS On These Betsy DeVos-Ass 'School Choice' Bitchez!
The BALLS!
Jan 7
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
374
402
Trump Proclaims America Shall Sell H-1B Visas for $100k And Residency For A Million
It's pay to play in America!
Sep 23
•
Marcie Jones
177
738
Disney Decides One Week Of Giving In To Fascism Was All It Could Handle For Now
Sinclair stations to bravely do fascism on their own for now.
Sep 23
•
Doktor Zoom
223
555
Why Isn't The Right Honoring The Way Charlie Kirk DESTROYED So Many College Students?
Let's not pretend this was something other than it was.
Sep 23
•
Robyn Pennacchia
314
695
ICE HAS FEELINGS TOO.
By ICE.
Sep 23
•
Gary Legum
278
292
We Never Send Out This Newsletter
View all
HELL. NO. And IMPEACH.
Hats are back.
Nov 13, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
11
1
Baby You Can Drive Our Car
With these slick-ass keychains from your Wonkette!
Oct 1, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
5
2
Cat Ladies (And Men!): Your Wonkette Kitten, No Whip, Tees And Tanks Are Back!
Good thing somebody asked for one, because I forgot!
Jul 31, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
6
New! FINALLY Improved! The Wonkette Bazaar!
Hunt down your 2024 gear, bring it back to your cave.
Mar 8, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
8
1
STICK IT ... TO ME?
That's terrible, Rebecca.
Mar 8, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
5
3
MUGS/SHOTS!
ISWIDT.
Mar 8, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
6
1
TATTOO YOU!
NEW! Kamala temporary tattoos are IN!
Mar 8, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
20
6
WELCOME BACK, JIMMY! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 23, 2025
CAN'T KEEP A FREE SPEECH DOWN.
Sep 23
•
Evan Hurst
189
662
Ladies, Could Tom Homan Be YOURS For One Doggie Bag Full Of $50,000?
"Bribin' Tom Homan" is our least favorite Dylan song.
Sep 22
•
Gary Legum
219
3,672
Trump's Latest DOJ Saturday Night Massacre Still Ongoing, Probably Will Last Forever
In which Trump quit/fires his own appointee for not locking up Letitia James.
Sep 22
•
Marcie Jones
198
413
Who's Ready For The Rapture?
You know, it really couldn't come at a better time.
Sep 22
•
Robyn Pennacchia
327
1,049
Nice Time
View all
Hey! Anyone Need Some Good News?
It's getting pretty depressing out there!
Sep 18
•
Robyn Pennacchia
286
2,208
Congratulations On Your Subsidized Child Care, New Mexico!
At least someone's getting good news.
Sep 10
•
Robyn Pennacchia
190
1,124
Should You Come To Wonkette's Mallory McMorrow Fundraiser? Yes! What If You're Not In Michigan? Yes!
Talking to Mallory McMorrow on Labor Day weekend.
Sep 2
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
135
136
Old Dead Joe Biden Taunts Trump With Svelte Ankles, Being Alive
Oh you scamp!
Sep 2
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
598
713
Badthink Purging To Continue Until Charlie Kirk Mourned Properly
Though it was already going on anyway.
Sep 22
•
Marcie Jones
238
737
Chuck Schumer Gonna 'Hope And Pray' Us Straight Into Fascism
It’s your Sunday show rundown!
Sep 22
•
Michael Mora
261
570
Oy, Guvnah, Trump Took 'Is Show Across The Pond For A UK State Visit!
Melania right chuffed!
Sep 22
•
Marcie Jones
235
365
See all
Recipe Hub
View all
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Mai Tai!
I'm on vacation, so here's my favorite drink to tide you over until I get back.
Sep 19
•
Matthew Hooper
114
2,823
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Manhattan!
What was the first cocktail you ever drank?
Sep 12
•
Matthew Hooper
144
3,614
Those Cakes We Like … Aren’t Telling Pork Pies
We’re baking them instead.
Sep 7
•
CakesWeLike
131
561
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Clarified Espresso Martinis!
This one goes straight past mixology into mad science.
Sep 5
•
Matthew Hooper
99
3,386
Welcome To Wonkette Labor Day Drinking, With This Holiday's Cocktail, The Ranger!
A warm hug of a bourbon drink, to celebrate fall's arrival.
Sep 1
•
Matthew Hooper
108
3,402
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Hemingway Daiquiri!
The Old Man, The Sea, and a stiff drink.
Aug 29
•
Matthew Hooper
132
3,331
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Paper Plane!
OMG Hooper's behind the stick at a brand new speakeasy!
Aug 22
•
Matthew Hooper
141
2,911
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Bumboo!
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho, yo ho!
Aug 15
•
Matthew Hooper
108
2,973
New Years Eve
View all
2024 Actual Person Of The Year: Kamala Harris
Time Magazine can give it to Trump like they gave it to Hitler and Stalin. Can also eat bags of dicks.
Jan 1
•
Evan Hurst
373
2,676
2024 Shitheel Of The Year: Elon Musk
That was an easy choice!
Jan 1
•
Marcie Jones
298
407
The World's Never Been Hotter. It's A Good Time To Go Green, Yes Really.
Climate optimism for a dark time.
Jan 1
•
Doktor Zoom
138
252
2024 Scourge Of The Year: Generative AI
Boy did slop proliferate!
Jan 1
•
Marcie Jones
105
258
2024 In Why You Should Never, Never, Ever Give A 'Psychic' Any Of Your Money
It's a scam. It's always a scam.
Jan 1
•
Robyn Pennacchia
102
330
The Laborious Year In Labor, 2024!
Cheers for the good strikes, jeers to the Trumpy Teamster leader.
Jan 1
•
Robyn Pennacchia
63
173
Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Had Great Year Killing People And Watching America Decline!
New Year's greetings from Moscow.
Dec 31, 2024
•
Gary Legum
81
234
In 2024, The Media Somehow Got WORSE
Turns out airing every Trump rally live wasn't the only problem!
Dec 31, 2024
•
Doktor Zoom
199
306
The Absolute Stupidest Things People Believed In 2024
Not meant to be comprehensive, because ... well, you know.
Dec 31, 2024
•
Robyn Pennacchia
300
286
2024: The Year That Broke Us
It was a bad year!
Dec 31, 2024
•
Rebecca Schoenkopf
330
493
Five Good Things That Happened In 2024
There were more than five, we think, but we're not spending all day writing this.
Dec 31, 2024
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Doktor Zoom
195
272
2024 From The Back Of Dom's Van.
The year in hey, Wonkette has a photojournalist!
Dec 31, 2024
•
Dominic Gwinn
106
136
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