Building Rapport in Digital Communication

Too many sellers inadvertently lower their status in their attempts to "build rapport" with prospects.  Here's how you gain your prospect's RESPECT in the first 90 seconds of a call: First, let's look at how 90% of sellers try to build rapport: "𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮?" "𝘛𝘰𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘩𝘶𝘩? 𝘕𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳!" "𝘏𝘰𝘸'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘓𝘈 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺?" ^Sports/Weather/Location based rapport isn't really rapport. It's schmoozing, and your prospect can see through that BS. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 '𝗲𝗺 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗹𝗲, just like every other seller who talks about the exact same stuff! If you're OK being treated like a run of the mill salesperson, by all means continue to schmooze. For those of us who'd like different results, read on. --- The easiest way to build rapport is to show you respect your prospect's time + know something about their business. You can do this by following the 90 second rule: 𝗦𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝗗𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝟭.𝟱 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. Examples: 1. For health insurance, we might comment on a new location opening: "𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘚𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘯. 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 3𝘳𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳?" ^New office = more employees who are going to need insurance. -- 2. For our Club Pass sales training program, we'll might comment on something we read on a job posting for an AE: "𝘋𝘢𝘯, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘑𝘋 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘕𝘛 𝘈𝘌 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘰𝘸'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨?" ___ To be clear, there's nothing wrong with bonding over a shared love of the Buffalo Bills, but let that be the cherry on top to your demonstration of prep + respect for their time, not the only way you build rapport. 

Do you dread the awkward silence before a virtual call starts, especially when waiting for multiple participants to join?   I used to.   That stretch of time always felt uncomfortable. I’d find myself checking email or pretending to look busy until the real conversation began… or worse, making small talk about the weather.   Then something shifted.   I started preparing for those quiet moments just like I prepare for the meeting itself.   Now, I use that time to connect—intentionally and authentically.   Before a call, I take a few minutes to look up who I’m meeting with on LinkedIn. I scan their background—where they went to school, where they’ve worked, what they post about, and whether we have any mutual connections. And if I’m short on time, I’ll even ask AI if there’s anything notable happening at their organization.   Preparation is always priority #1, but here’s your backup plan for those times when you're pulled into a call with no time to prep:   Skip the weather talk (which rarely adds value), and instead ask: “Is there anything specific you want to walk away with today?” “Is there anything you think would be helpful to cover—for you or others?” “What’s been keeping you busy lately?” “What’s your focus area right now?” “Anything exciting on the horizon for your team?” “I see you are Director of _____. How is that the same or different from other organizations? And I’ll tailor it even further when I know the industry: Agriculture? I ask, “How’s the growing season shaping up this year?” Technology? I might ask, “What tool or trend is catching your attention lately?” Pharma? Something like, “What pipeline progress are you most excited about?”   It’s amazing what you can learn in just a few minutes. The result? I’ve uncovered insights that completely shifted the direction of a meeting. I’ve built faster rapport. And more often than not, I leave the call feeling like I talked with someone, not just to them. Here’s the tip that sums it up best—something I heard recently from Matt Abrahams on a podcast: “Be interested. Not interesting.” Read that again. It is a GAME CHANGER in every conversation.   Because here’s why it works: It shows presence It turns transactional time into relational time. It makes virtual feel a little more human.   Now, I don’t dread that silence. I look forward to what might come out of it.

Drowning in Zoom calls and Slack threads? No energy left at the end of the day? 🥱 Zoom fatigue is real. So is information overload. It certainly happens to me. To understand science-backed strategies that get better results while preserving our energy, I invited Andrew Brodsky to Speak Like a CEO. Andrew is a management professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and the author of "Ping: The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication". His PING framework is a simple, research-backed method to help you communicate smarter, not harder, in today’s virtual world. 📌 Perspective-taking 💡 Initiative 🎭 Nonverbal cues 🎯 Goals P = Perspective-taking Virtual communication makes it easy to forget there’s a human on the other side. Whether it’s a blunt email or a cold video call, always ask: How will this message feel to them? Clarity and empathy go further than you think. I = Initiative Don’t accept the weaknesses of a platform – fix them. Add warmth to text-based chats, build rapport before negotiations, or switch formats to better match your message. N = Nonverbal cues Your tone, lighting, posture, and even silence send signals. Be intentional. On video, your background, gestures and eye contact matter. G = Goals Start with the outcome. Want quick input? Use Slack. Need alignment? Meet live. Trying to build trust? Turn on the camera. Match the medium to your goal, not your habit. Our virtual communication has become a habit. Let’s challenge them and replace outdated routines with science-backed strategies. ❓ How do you ensure your message lands virtually?   ♻️ Repost to help someone improve their virtual communication. 📌 Follow me, Oliver Aust, for daily strategies on leadership communications.

Your inbox is full, but your connections are empty. 7 EQ shifts for real presence: Every message you send shapes how people perceive, trust, and work with you. Digital presence isn't just about tasks. It's about building relationships that matter. Here's how to make every interaction count 👇🏼 1. Master your video presence ↳ Join 2 mins early: "How was your weekend?" ↳ Make space: "Just taking a moment to process that" 2. Transform robotic replies ↳ "Thanks, this matters to me" instead of "Sounds good" ↳ "Let's talk at 5pm" instead of "Can't now" 3. Create mindful pauses ↳ 10-minute buffer for emotional messages ↳ Draft important responses, take a walk, return with fresh eyes 4. Make it personal ↳ "How did that presentation go?" not "How are you?" ↳ Share specific moments: "This reminded me of our talk yesterday" 5. Balance boundaries ↳ Schedule non-urgent messages for tomorrow ↳ Auto-reply: "Focused until 2pm" 6. Bridge digital and real life ↳ "Virtual coffee Tuesday 9am?" not "Let's catch up soon" ↳ Suggest a walk-and-talk over video calls when possible 7. Show up authentically ↳ Lead with "I know there's a lot happening" ↳ Name feelings: "This must be frustrating" Small shifts in communication create massive impact. Your presence powers connection. Which of these would make the biggest difference in your work relationships? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network build stronger digital relationships 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more emotional intelligence strategies for your life

We’ve built a brand new LinkedIn DM strategy. Last week it booked us 9 sales calls. Here’s how it looks in 4 steps: 1. Opener + qualification 👋 - We found that we can both: - A) build rapport with B) qualify prospects in 1 message - The message we send is (for example): “Hey John - massive fan of your recent post. I completely agree. How’s LinkedIn lead-gen going for you - you winning?” - And as a template (for you to use), it looks something like: “Hey [name] - [specific compliment]. How’s [achieving thing] going for you - [ask if it’s going well]?” 2. The reply 💬 - This can go 1 of 2 ways… - IF they essentially say ‘no’ you can reply: “OK, I wonder if I could help you solve that. Worth us jumping on a call to see if I can help?” - BUT if they essentially say ‘yes, I am winning’, move onto step 3 3. Create the gap 🫸      🫷 - They’ve established that what they’re doing is currently working - But the difference between current state and a goal… is a skill gap - SO… we ask something along the lines of: “I’m glad your efforts are paying off :) What does step 2 look like for you (what’s your next goal…)?” - No matter what they respond with, you can move onto step 4/… 4. Close the gap 🤏 - They’ve established they want to get somewhere that they’re not - So we can assume that they need help getting there - I’ll then respond with something that sounds like this: “Love the ambition! I wonder if I can help you get there quicker. Worth us jumping on a call to see if I can help?” It’s as simple as that… This process follows the main 3 “rules” extremely simply: ✅ Builds rapport ✅ Reveals a pain/ desire ✅ Qualify if we can help You may find that the templates need a bit of tweaking to your audience… But we’re currently using it across all our clients - it works!

“Find common ground.” “Talk about the weather.” “Comment on their dog.” Most sales training on rapport is… artificial. Real rapport doesn’t come from small talk. It comes from mutual respect. Want to build trust fast? → Call out insights they didn’t expect you to know. → Ask a question that shows you actually read their site. → Relate to their pain in a way that makes them pause. Rapport isn’t about making them laugh. It’s about making them feel like “this person gets it.”

Hey—does your wife know about that DM? I’ve got so many messages asking me for marriage before the person has ever even bought me a drink. I’m talking about these cold, spammy B2B DMs that want me to buy whatever they’re selling because I liked one of their posts on here. Or didn't. Ask me for help? Sure! Share a supportive note? TYSM! Ask me to buy? Ignore. This happens across the board in marketing content. But especially in B2B. And it’s why it all sucks. B2B is still, and will forever be, H2H (human-to-human). You gotta care about the person buying, not THAT they are buying. DMs are NOT for instant conversion; they’re relationship-building. Is it a slower burn? Yep. But when it’s done right the results speak for themselves. So, I’m here to help because your proposal sucks 😉 Here’s the framework we send to our clients on how to build rapport and relationship with DMs (instead of getting blocked or having their biz associated with the word ‘annoying’): Strategy Framework ⬇️ Goal: Build authentic relationships in your specific niche. Tone: Casual, direct, curious (in your brand’s voice). Focus: Target your ICP thoughtfully and intentionally. When to DM ⬇️ • New Connections: Within 24 hours of connecting (keep it light, no pitches). • Content Engagement: Within 48 hours of someone engaging with your post—show appreciation or start a conversation. • Industry News: When major news drops that’s relevant to your audience. • Follow-Ups: Check in every 4-6 weeks with key contacts—don’t let the relationship go cold but don’t make them feel like taking out a restraining order. • Event Follow-Ups: Within 72 hours after meeting someone IRL or at a virtual event How to DM ⬇️ • Keep it short and casual. Don’t overthink or over-edit. • Ask questions about their work, goals, or challenges. • Share insights or experiences that are genuinely helpful. • Write like you speak: --> If you don’t use emojis, don’t start now. --> Imperfect grammar? Totally fine if it fits your tone. --> Less “sell,” more “serve.” Show genuine interest, offer value, and build relationships first. IF you follow these steps, then yes, my DMs are open 😆

Beyond the Like Button: Building Real Influence in Virtual Spaces In an era where likes substitute handshakes and emojis replace facial expressions, Dale Carnegie's timeless principles have been brilliantly adapted for our interconnected world. This updated classic doesn't just rehash old wisdom—it transforms it for those navigating the complex social landscape of screens and platforms. What impressed me most was the book's pragmatic approach to "digital empathy"—recognizing that behind every profile is a person seeking validation, connection, and respect. The section on "Bury Your Boomerang" brilliantly addresses how critical comments online can return with unexpected force, while "Affirm What's Good" provides actionable strategies for positive engagement that builds genuine rapport. The book shines in translating Carnegie's six ways to make lasting impressions into digital contexts. "Listen Longer" becomes particularly poignant when considering how rare focused attention is in our notification-saturated environment. Similarly, "Discuss What Matters to Them" offers a refreshing antidote to the self-promotion that dominates many platforms. For professionals, the balance between "automation and authenticity" provides crucial guidance in an age where efficiency often trumps connection. The book doesn't reject technological tools but instead shows how to use them while preserving the human element that ultimately drives meaningful relationships. What sets this book apart is its recognition that digital influence isn't about manipulating algorithms but understanding human psychology. The principles aren't quick hacks but sustainable practices that build trust over time. If your digital interactions feel transactional rather than transformational, this book offers the perspective shift needed to build genuine connections that transcend platforms. In a world of digital noise, Carnegie's refreshed wisdom helps you become a signal worth receiving. What digital relationship principles have transformed your professional interactions? Share your thoughts below!