Building Relationships with Students

As a kid, I was all about test scores and SATs. Socializing terrified me. I used to especially dread recess. I would do anything rather than go to the handball court. I volunteered to wash the chalkboard, asked to reorganize bookshelves, even made up ailments to go to the nurse (I believe once my thumb got a headache). This didn’t serve me well, and science backs this up. A 20-year study followed kindergartners and found: The kids rated as "more helpful and willing to share" ended up far more successful 20 years later: higher education, steady jobs, better lives. What did the research find about the kids who struggled with sharing? More substance abuse, legal trouble, unemployment issues down the line. So, if you have kids in your life, teach them these 5 social skills: 1. Social Assertiveness I overheard two kids on a playground: "I like your truck." "I like you too!" "I like you!" "I like you!" That's social assertiveness: stating your preferences and needs. Most kids withhold their liking from fear of rejection. Teach them: "Can I play with you?" It's one of the best phrases for kids to learn. 2. Social Planning Ask your kids before school: "What kids do you like? What kids make you nervous? When they state their preferences, ask them: “What do you want to do about it?” and they’ll naturally plan scenarios: "Maybe I should ask them to sit with me at lunch." 3. Seek First to Understand (Emotional Intelligence) Kids who can read emotions have better friendships and fewer conflicts. Help your kids recognize other kids' emotions by asking: • "How do you think he/she feels?" • "What do you think he/she thinks?" When kids can spot that someone is sad, frustrated, or excited, they can respond better, offering comfort, giving space, or joining the fun. Also teach them the 7 basic facial expressions (anger, happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, disgust, contempt). I wish I'd learned to read faces earlier. It would have helped me understand my teachers, parents, and friends better. 4. Synergize (Be Authentic About Feelings) I used to hide my awkwardness. When I started sharing it, people were kinder and understood me better. Teach kids that they can say: "I'm feeling nervous, I don't know anyone" or "I feel a little awkward." Vulnerability with the right people builds authentic connections. 5. Work Together (Collaboration) Once a month, encourage your kid to develop a "quest" with another child: a lemonade stand, car washing business, treehouse, or fort. They'll learn negotiation, planning, follow-through, and collaboration - skills they'll need for work and college. ____ BTW this is me circa 1990:

✨𝐍𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐁 𝐏𝐘𝐏 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦: 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞✨ I’m excited to share another important 𝐀𝐓𝐋 skill— 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬—that plays a key role in shaping students' interactions, both with themselves (𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥) and with others (𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥). This visual breakdown highlights how fostering these skills in an 𝐈𝐁 𝐏𝐘𝐏 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 encourages students to become compassionate, collaborative, and reflective individuals. 🫶 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: 𝟏.𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬: -𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥: Students learn to manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a balanced manner, making informed decisions and advocating for their own needs. -𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: Recognizing and responding to their emotions and others' feelings, students develop empathy, embracing diverse emotional experiences. 𝟐.𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬: -𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬: Embracing diversity and demonstrating care for others by staying open to different perspectives, students foster a respectful learning environment. -𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬: Students actively assist peers in achieving goals and employ strategies to stop bullying, defending the rights and needs of everyone. -𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: Understanding how individual actions impact the group, students promote cooperation and contribute effectively when collaborating with others. -𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭: By handling difficult situations calmly, students work towards peaceful resolutions through attentive listening and clear expression of needs. 🌍 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 empower learners to build meaningful connections and maintain harmony in their relationships. These abilities are essential in shaping responsible global citizens. ✨ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, where we’ll dive into 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒!✨ #IBPYP #SocialSkills #ATL #IBLearners #IntrapersonalSkills #PYPteachers #PYPhomeroomteachers #InterpersonalSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #GlobalCitizens #StudentEmpowerment #ReflectiveLearners #InquiryBasedLearning

🎙️ The latest episode of the podcast is now live with Alinnette Casiano. Ali is an educator, EQ Champion, Bestselling author, Organisational Leadership Strategist, and UX researcher at AWS with 15+ years of experience blending emotional intelligence, agile leadership, and system thinking. Founder of Growing Your EQ, helping brands and teams scale with purpose and people-first innovation. Bilingual, doctoral candidate, and advocate for inclusive, high-impact leadership. In this episode we dive into: 🧠EQ isn't a one-time lesson, it’s a life skill. ↳Ali explains why emotional intelligence should be part of everyday classroom routines like journaling, breathing exercises, group sharing, and “good things” check-ins. 👩🏫Model it before you teach it ↳One of the most impactful things a teacher can do is show students how they manage their own emotions and challenges. That modelling builds deep trust and connection. 💬Connection leads to performance ↳Students thrive when they feel seen and heard. Simple moments of reflection and conversation can boost empathy, engagement, and classroom culture. 💻 Big tech EQ strategies work in schools too ↳Ali shares how strategies from her work at Amazon, like daily reflection prompts and chatbot check-ins, can be adapted for schools using tools as simple as whiteboards or Google Forms. 🤖❤️AI can help—but the teacher is still the heart ↳AI should support self-awareness and reflection, not replace human connection. It’s a powerful assistant, not a replacement for real conversations. 🎭Kids need space to practise real-life skills ↳Conflict resolution, empathy, and emotional awareness don’t happen by accident. Ali explains how role-play and storytelling can help kids develop these essential life skills early. Plus much more... ⬇️ To listen ⬇️ What’s one way you help students build emotional intelligence in your classroom? 💾 Save to listen ♻️ Repost if you think your network would benefit from this episode ➕ Follow Ash Manuel for more #eq #emotionalintelligence #modelling #teaching #teachers #education #wellbeing

Let's Make This More Interesting: Episode 5 is out today (links in comments) My guest Addison Brown is a science teacher who is the star of a recent UK Department for Education recruitment film. He estimates that in a typical class of 15-year-olds, only a third are naturally interested in what he is going to teach, and, as a teacher, he has a hugely demanding challenge. He is trying not simply to engage his audience in the topic for an hour; he has to make it interesting enough to stick in their long-term memory. ‘Every lesson is so precious’, he says. I feel there is a lot to learn from the way Addison approaches getting and keeping the attention of his audience, and then ensuring the information sticks. He talks about three key research-based principles that underpin everything he teaches - cognitive load, chunking and dual coding - and how everything begins with first making the topic relatable to his audience. I was very struck by how clearly he saw the attention span and expectation levels of his students changing, and how that meant, in effect, that making the topic more interesting and behaviour management were not two separate skills – making something more interesting was increasingly the way to manage behaviour. And, I found myself reflecting at the end how important what he spoke about was to us as a broader community of communicators in business, and my surprise that we had perhaps at some level understood elements of this in an earlier era of communications, and now walked past it. Along the way, we spoke about: - The key challenge for a teacher: How can I be interesting in a way that helps the listener store this in their long term memory? - The importance of relatability in getting kids interested in science - How he uses his dog to get the class more interested in his topic - The importance of ‘chunking’ an important topic down into smaller, accessible, interesting pieces - The value of smiling while learning - How dual coding drives long term memory retention, and how pioneering teachers are reinforcing it. - How new constraints of shorter attention spans and increased expectations are driving a ‘blossoming of imagination’ within teaching - The skill of adaptive teaching. What do you do if half of the class has got it, and half hasn’t? - Why practice doesn’t make perfect. - Changing the context for a difficult topic to make it more relatable - The importance of cognitive load on long term memory - Why copying off a white board doesn’t work - How one lesson can shape a life - His three bits of advice on how to be a better teacher I went into this interview wanting to know more about the power of changing the context to make a potentially unrelatable subject more interesting, and I came out of it startled by how much better Addison understood the principles of effective communication than I did. Why had no one ever taught me this?

Why Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is the New Core Curriculum in 21st Century Classrooms In an age where AI can do math faster and write essays better, what sets humans apart is emotional intelligence. The need of the hour? Social Emotional Learning (SEL)—the new essential for truly effective education. Modern neuroscience, Harvard studies, and CASEL research all point in one direction: SEL is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. When students build emotional literacy, self-regulation, and empathy, their academic performance doesn’t just improve—it transforms. Integrating SEL into daily instruction doesn’t mean more content. It means more meaning. Teachers who model empathy, foster safe classrooms, and use project-based, reflective teaching unlock deeper engagement and intrinsic motivation in students. Curriculum teaches facts. SEL teaches life. In today’s uncertain world, a child who can manage stress, build relationships, and recover from failure will thrive—academically and personally. If we want schools to produce not just achievers but leaders, SEL must lead the way. Let’s empower educators, inspire students, and reimagine classrooms as hubs of human growth. Are you ready to lead the SEL revolution? Let’s connect and create emotionally intelligent classrooms—together.

“We must resist the narrative that AI companions are inevitable or neutral. Instead of normalizing emotionally immersive AI, we must build platforms that educate users on healthy social connection and actively encourage real-world relationships—prompting people to get out of AI, not deeper into it. Rather than investing in simulated intimacy, we should ask: What would it look like to invest in relational infrastructure—systems, spaces, and supports that nurture genuine human connection? This means centering relationships in our public systems, starting with education. It means training teachers in relational intelligence, redesigning technology to support—not replace—human connection, and building environments where belonging is a design principle, not a side effect. What if every school was designed not just for academic readiness, but as a relational hub? What if we trained educators not just in instruction, but in connection? What if we measured not just literacy scores, but the strength of connection in a classroom?“

Provocation No. 16 - "It's the Relationships, Stupid" (Link in comments) <snip> "To imagine education as a site of relational repair is to ask “how we might create the conditions for people — young and old — to re-learn how to be in meaningful relationship?” That includes relationships among students and teachers, yes, but also with ideas, with institutions, with histories, with futures, and with all the other life on the planet that sustains us. It means recognizing that relationship is not just the backdrop for learning; it is the substance of it. This approach doesn’t negate the importance of content or skills. It reframes them. It asks: what is this knowledge in service of? How did it come to us? What does it help us notice? Who does it help us care for? How might it change the way we live and learn alongside one another? If education truly centered relationships, the work would slow down. It would require us to be more present, to ask different questions, and to notice the subtler dynamics at play in a classroom, a community, or a culture. It would also ask more of us as educators — not just to teach well, but to show up differently. To practice humility. To model care. To acknowledge harm and stay open to repair." </snip> #education #schooling #relationality #change

I had a student who was disruptive, disengaged, and constantly challenging authority. Every lesson was a battle. Every interaction was strained. One day, I changed tactics. Instead of reprimanding, I asked him a simple question: "What's the most important thing happening in your life right now?" His answer floored me. He wasn’t struggling with my subject—he was struggling with life. Home was chaotic. Support was minimal. The weight of the world sat on his shoulders. That moment changed everything. Because when we listen to someone’s story, we stop seeing them as a problem and start seeing them as a person. This is why storytelling is the most powerful tool we have for building empathy in education. When students read diverse narratives, they develop perspective-taking skills. When they watch real-life documentaries, their brains fire as if they are experiencing the emotions themselves. When they share their own experiences, they build emotional intelligence and social connection. But here’s the challenge: Are we using storytelling intentionally in our classrooms? In my latest article, inspired by The International Classroom Podcast episode with Ed Kirwan, I explore how storytelling can be a structured, research-backed method for developing empathy in students. Neuroscience shows that mirror neurons activate when we hear a powerful story. Research proves that literary fiction enhances Theory of Mind—the ability to understand others' emotions. Digital storytelling and film help students engage with perspectives far beyond their own lived experience. If we embed storytelling into education with intention, we don’t just teach content—we shape more compassionate, understanding humans. Read the full article below. #Education #Empathy #Storytelling #EdTech #SocialEmotionalLearning #Teaching

I am happy to share my recent publication, Becoming a Care-Ready Institution: Operationalizing a Relational Framework for Student Success. This piece is especially meaningful to me. It outlines a relational framework rooted in an ethic of care—an ethic that has shaped my life, my leadership, and my understanding of what it means to truly partner with students. I hope it serves as a practical tool for institutions seeking to advance student success in ways that honor connection, equity, and shared humanity. Abstract: In contemporary higher education, outcomes-driven imperatives often privilege efficiency, data, and technology over relational dynamics that underpin student thriving. This article advances the argument that care, understood relationally, institutionally, and structurally, constitutes a form of capital with measurable impact on equity. Building on Bourdieu’s (1986) theory of capital and Yosso’s (2005) framework of community cultural wealth, I introduce the C.A.R.E. Framework (Community and Connection, Accountability and Advocacy, Reflection and Relationships, Equity and Empowerment). Developed through years of leadership practice, this model conceptualizes care as a value and a resource, positioning care-readiness as a strategic and moral imperative for higher education. https://lnkd.in/gcNiVaaK

The biggest risk of AI embedding in education isn’t bias or cheating. It’s loneliness. That’s the warning from Isabelle Hau, Executive Director of the Stanford Accelerator for Learning and author of Love to Learn. At Stanford, she’s translating research on human development and cognitive science into edtech products that support—not replace—teachers. Her thesis is simple but radical: Learning is social. Love is a neurobiological condition for learning. And our obsession with efficiency is missing the point. In our conversation, we explore: • Why education should be relationship-centered, not just learner-centered • How joy, play, and connection build the adaptability students will need in an AI-shaped economy • What relational intelligence might mean for the future of learning and leadership