Mingling With Murder, page 1
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MINGLING WITH MURDER
a Merry Wrath Mystery
by
LESLIE LANGTRY
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Copyright © 2024 by Leslie Langtry
Cover design by Janet Holmes
Gemma Halliday Publishing
http://www.gemmahallidaypublishing.com
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
CHAPTER ONE
"Mingle?" To say I was surprised would be an understatement. "We're going to Mingle, Iowa for a mayors' conference? Why am I going?"
Thirteen-year-old future insurance CEO and Who's There, Iowa's youngest mayor, Ava rolled her eyes as if she couldn't believe she had to explain. "Because you can drive!"
I should've known better than to ask. After all, these were the girls who once told me I'd be getting a shipment of tarantulas delivered to my house that I wasn't to open or ask questions about. Volunteering me for things without asking first was normal to my troop. And I still have no idea what happened to those tarantulas.
And yet, I still wasn't clear how I fit into the plan. "Let me get this straight. I'm taking you…"
Ava interrupted. "And Betty, and Lauren, and Inez…"
Now there were four of them going? "I'm taking you four to a mayor conference just because I can drive?"
The mayor nodded. "Yes. My mom can't take me because she's working. And once the adults at City Hall found out Betty was part of it, they all suddenly had excuses why they couldn't go."
I could understand that. Betty was the most terrifying sixth grader in the world.
"What is it exactly?" Why was I arguing? It wasn't like my schedule was busy. All I had were troop meetings and the occasional zoo break-in to hang out with the king vulture.
"It's the Central Iowa Small Mayor Mingle, and it's important. CISMM." Ava stuck her chin out to let me know she meant business. "Oh, and your husband is getting an award."
My eyebrows went up. "Rex is going? And getting an award?"
Ava stared at me as if I should know this. "You know how Who's There is the most murdery town in Iowa?"
Of course I did. I'd been involved in every single one over the last nine years. I gave a short nod.
"Well, Detective Rex Ferguson is getting an award for having a 100% solve rate."
There was no way I was going to argue about that. My husband deserved canonization for putting up with me interfering with his cases. Oh sure, I'd technically solved most of them, but he helped!
"You should have led with that. Give me the details," I sighed. At least there would be another adult with me. "Wait… Why aren't the Kaitlyns going?"
I had four Kaitlyn Ms in my troop. They all looked exactly alike, spoke at the same time, took the same boy to the recent middle school dance, and operated on a sort of hive mind that allowed them to communicate telepathically.
"They're on the same softball team for the first time. The coach thinks they're really valuable since they can communicate without talking. The Kaitlyns are pitcher, catcher, first basegirl, and shortstop. I guess they're really good. They have a tournament." In spite of what sounded like good news, Ava did not look happy that half the troop wasn't going.
My name is Merry Wrath Ferguson, and I was a field operative for the CIA. I'd worked undercover in Russia, Japan, Colombia, and Chechnya before I was "accidentally" outed by the vice president, who had a beef with my senator dad. Unfortunately, I was in a bar made basically of sticks and held together with mud and goat spit in Chechnya when CNN broke the news. And Chechens love CNN. They never miss it. So when my face was splashed across the screen while I was undercover, it was a nightmare to say the least. I barely escaped with my life.
After a very healthy settlement that didn't make me feel any better, I came back to my hometown of Who's There, Iowa to sulk. That's when my best friend, Kelly, talked me into starting a Girl Scout troop. Which was how I ended up subservient to the teen mayor.
I sighed. "When is CISMM?"
"Wednesday through Sunday," Ava said. "The conference begins tomorrow night. You and your husband pick us up after he gets off work." And with that, she walked out my front door to a limousine that was waiting for her but, apparently, was not CISMM worthy.
Rex walked in a few minutes later. "Hey hon! Guess what we're doing tomorrow?"
"I just found out. Who's going to watch the animals?" I pointed to our menagerie of pets, who were now staring at me, not Rex, accusingly.
First and foremost was Philby—an obese cat who looked like Hitler, with basically the same temperament, who I've long suspected was secretly composing a salacious memoir about me titled Mein Catf. Second was Leonard, an adorable but skittish Scottish deerhound who was terrified of the fat feline führer. Last was Martini, Philby's daughter, whose narcoleptic problem made her pass out every ten minutes, usually on top of Leonard.
"Dr. Body said she'd do it," Rex said, referring to Soo Jin, our medical examiner. "Troy's going to help her."
We got out the suitcases, and immediately Philby jumped into mine. She crouched down as low as an over-inflated basketball could and eyed me suspiciously. I would have to pack around her.
"Are you attending the conference, or are you there just for the awards night?" I tried to shoo the cat out, but she closed her eyes and hissed loudly.
"Seven of the cities involved are sending a representative from their police department. From what I understand, I'll be able to go to the workshops too."
"At least you'll have something to do," I groused just a little. "I'm just the driver. I have no idea what I'm doing there."
"You can always sit in on sessions for modern, small-town policing with me." His eyebrows went up as Philby tried to jump from my suitcase into his.
Somehow, she missed and landed on her back between the two. Due to her round shape, she lay there, legs wiggling in the air, like a fattened tick. I turned her over and was rewarded with another hiss as she jumped…or rather fell off the bed and raced out of the room.
"At least you're expected. Ava will probably just have me down as Driver on my name tag. If I even rate a name tag."
Rex pulled me into his arms. "Don't worry. I'll smuggle you in." After a kiss, he pulled back. "You haven't packed anything yet. What are you going to wear?"
After a few minutes, I pulled away. "I've got to run over to Kelly's for a moment. Back in a jiff."
Kelly and I sat in her living room, folding laundry. Robert was helping Finn, my goddaughter, in the kitchen with her homework.
My best friend set aside a stack of towels and turned to me. "Okay, so what's the emergency?"
"Everything alright, Merry?" Kelly's husband called out from the kitchen.
"Nothing to worry about!" I called back. Lowering my voice, I told Kelly, "It's a fashion emergency. I don't know what to wear to the Mayor Mingle."
I explained the situation. "Rex says it's business casual. I'm not sure what that means. A business jacket with shorts? T-shirt with a cardigan and khakis? Are jeans okay? And what about shoes?"
Kelly held up a hand to stop my stream of questions. "Hold on. I shouldn't have to remind you, but you were a spy who had to dress for many occasions, I'd think. Didn't you ever have to go undercover in business casual?"
I shook my head. "That's different. All I usually needed was tactical gear, an evening gown, and a banana costume."
Kelly's eyebrows went up. "A banana costume?"
I plucked a T-shirt from the pile and folded it as I nodded. "You'd be surprised how often that came in handy."
CHAPTER TWO
"I've never been to Mingle," I said to no one in particular as I drove.
Rex was going over the notes of his acceptance speech. Betty, Lauren, Inez, and Ava were in the back, staring out the windows.
"Wasn't there some sort of scandal there in the 80s?" Rex asked quietly, as if hoping the girls wouldn't hear.
A glance in the rearview window told me they weren't paying attention.
"Yes," I replied just as quietly. "I don't really know much about it. It was before I was born. But I remember Mom and Dad talking about it. I heard something about a political sex scandal, but then I also heard it was the mafia money laundering. I don't know the details. It must have been embarrassing, though, because I had a friend in college who was from there. But I didn't know she was from there until graduation. She'd always said she was from Newton."
"It's only forty-five minutes from Who's There." Rex frowned. "And you've never bee
"Different county," I explained, as if that was a legitimate reason. I decided to change the subject. "How's the speech coming? Want to practice on me?"
"It's coming along. I'm not speaking for a long time. Just a few minutes. I don't need to practice."
I made eye contact with Ava, who was now fully alert in the rearview mirror. "What are you guys going to do at the conference? Are there any interesting sessions you want to attend?"
"They look pretty boring," the mayor admitted. "But it's okay, since Betty and I are presenting."
That got my attention. Even Rex turned in his seat.
"You two are presenting a workshop?" I asked. "On what?"
Ava shook her head. "Not one workshop. I'm doing two. Betty's helping with those but also doing one herself."
"Seriously?" was all I could manage.
Who was in charge of the programming? Why did they want a thirteen-year-old to present on anything? Didn't they know who they were dealing with? Should I warn them?
"There are twenty-two municipalities attending," Ava went on. "Most of them aren't even doing workshops. The mayors that are presenting are only doing one. That makes me the winner."
The girls high-fived each other in the back seat.
"Do you think I'll get a trophy for that?" Ava wondered.
"I don't think that's a thing." I turned to my husband, who had the program. "Rex, what is Ava presenting?"
Rex pulled up the program on his phone. "Let's see. She's doing The Most Murdery Town In Iowa – How to Successfully Utilize Your Town's Biggest Assets, and Sister Cities: Who's There & Who Dat."
Ava spoke up. "Mayor Robby of Who Dat is flying up to join me. I'm still counting that one as just mine though, so I can win the trophy."
I had so many questions, but the most important one was: "What's Betty's workshop about?"
Rex struggled to hold back a smile. "How to Bend City Council to Your Will."
"We've got swag and stuff." Betty aimed her thumb over her shoulder to the back of the van, where some very mysterious boxes that read Do Not Open – Filled with Poisonous Snakes.
That seemed dangerous. Maybe the less I knew about this the better. "What are you going to?" I asked my husband.
"I'm going to a couple on issues related to small-town policing." Rex paused. "But now I think I'll attend Betty's."
I nodded. It would probably be good for me to be there too. I should've brought my gun.
"I don't know if I'm registered, other than as Mayoral Driver," I joked.
"You're registered," Ava said. "I signed you up to do a session on how to incorporate black bag ops and wet work into everyday city planning, but they turned that one down." She rolled her eyes. "They asked if it was a joke."
Good move on the organizing committee's part. "How am I registered?"
Ava waved her arm around. "Like the others."
"I'm going to do one on animal control," Lauren added. "Ava didn't mention that."
"I'm not presenting, but I'm going to do one on creative accounting." Inez wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, as if to imply she intended use the information to practice the dark arts.
We pulled into the town of Mingle and made our way to the community center on Main Street. The town was about half the size of Who's There but very pleasant to look at. Flowers overflowed from baskets and curbside planters, the buildings appeared to be freshly painted, and a huge welcome sign stood in the city park proclaiming, MINGLE! We've put our past behind us!
Not the most inspirational motto. I parked the van, and everyone got out and filed into the community center. Inside, there were a lot of people milling around two tables that appeared to be labelled by town, alphabetically. Ava said she would handle the check-in for everyone.
Betty was fidgety. She never fidgeted.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Nothing. And don't look at me in that tone of voice," Betty grumbled and walked away.
"She's out of sorts," Inez said before cocking her head to one side. "Is that how you old people say it? Out of sorts?" She waited for me to nod, but when I didn't because I'd taken exception to the idea that I was old, she continued. "It's because Conrad isn't here. They spend a lot of time together. Ava said he couldn't come, and Betty's in"—Inez held up her fingers for air quotes—"a mood."
Lauren nodded. "I don't know why Ava said he couldn't come. But she was not giving in on that."
Was there a problem in the troop because of a boy? I'd always feared that this would happen, but never in a million years would I have believed it would happen to Betty, of all people. The girl did not like boys and rated them at the bottom of her list, below Eternally Happy People, Boy Scouts, and Unicorn Killer.
Until Conrad, that is.
I looked around at the other city officials. All of them were adults, except for a pig who wore a top hat and sash that read MAYOR OF PORKTON. Iowa had had a few animal mayors before, but I wondered if, considering the name of the town, the pig was just a figurehead.
Rex spotted a couple of colleagues and excused himself. Lauren ran over to the pig and began conversing. Inez and I stood together, taking it all in.
"Give me your expert opinion," Inez asked me. "Who are the threats, the weak links, the tough talkers? Who do you think could handle themselves in a fight?"
I turned to her. "Why are you analyzing the situation?"
Inez narrowed her eyes. "You taught us about threat assessment."
Did I? It was possible, I guess. I was always interjecting some of my past into troop meetings.
"Anyway, Ava thinks we should know everyone's strengths and weaknesses to see if they are a concern to us. I've been studying it."
"That's smart" was all I could think to say.
"And looking for intel for blackmail…" the girl added.
"No blackmail." I'd used my stern leader voice, as if she'd listen to me.
Ava returned with a huge envelope. Lauren and Betty spotted her and joined us.
"Here are your name tags." Ava opened the envelope and doled them out. "I made our own lanyards because I knew these would be lame."
She was referring to the gray nylon cord that clipped on to the name tags. From a bag, she produced flat, black lanyards with chalk body outlines all over them. We did as we were told and replaced the gray ones.
Rex came over, took one look at the new lanyards, and shook his head. "Nope. I'm not doing that. I think it would give the wrong impression."
Ava shrugged. "Suit yourself."
I looked at my name tag. It read Mrs. Wrath. As usual, it did not include my married name of Ferguson. The girls had been calling me Mrs. even before I got married because anyone over twenty was old and a Mrs.
"It says I'm the Assistant Deputy of the Secret Police?" I read the name tag upside down. "City governments don't have secret police."
"Ours does," Betty said as she put the lanyard over her head. Her name tag said, Director of the Secret Police.
"She gets to be director?" I complained. "I should be the director."
I looked at the other tags. Inez's said Special Prosecutor, and Lauren's read Assistant Director of Animal Control. Rex's just said Detective.
"We have to check into the hotel," Ava said, ignoring my complaint. "It's next door. Let's go."
To my surprise, there was a large boutique hotel next door. The Mingle Inn had once been the town's elementary school, which they'd turned into a hotel. The girls were rooming together in a quad with four bunk beds, and Rex and I had a room a little too far down the hall than I was entirely comfortable with.
My mood changed when we opened the door.
"Look at this!" I looked around. "I think we're in an old classroom!"
Sure enough, there were well-worn but clean floors, a chalkboard with chalk and eraser, and large windows with huge shades. The ceiling was high, and I could just picture it filled with little desks.
"This is pretty great," Rex admitted as he parked our suitcases in front of a school locker that doubled as a closet.
